Donate online!

So you know how in my first post, I said that my goal was to finish the 5k in 34 minutes? Well, a couple of days ago, I ran 5k in 34:40! :) It's the fastest I've run outside!

The best news, though, is that you can donate to St. Jude online by clicking here! My goal is to raise $1000! Please make your donation--even the smallest amounts add up!

If I run the 5k in 34 minutes, that's $29.41 per minute! Want to sponsor a minute? Two? Three?...


Several people have asked if I'm donating my hair, but unfortunately, it's not long enough. So why shave my head, you ask? Two reasons.

• To bring attention to the cause of childhood cancer awareness.
• To make a statement in support of children who lose their hair during chemotherapy.

So I'll be bald for a while. A little crazy? Maybe. But I'm okay with that. I've got hats.

Thanks for all your support! amy

yes.

start there, start with ‘yes’, the quick affirmation, the answer to a question that hasn’t been asked yet or is asked without pause. start with ‘yes’, i dare you; i really don’t care if you lower your eyes or you lift your chin to catch the light, if the word hurts or it heals or it just is. just start there.

yes, everything is beautiful. yes, everything hurts. somehow we’re on to ‘yes, everything...’ as though sweeping generalizations ever do anything but hurt. yes, i realize what i just said. i have nowhere to go after ‘everything’, nowhere i want to write myself to, but at least we started with ‘yes’.

yes, i believe that i'm too brittle, too brash, too much bluster and not enough holding steady. yes, i've forgotten what i look like. i closed my eyes for far too long and found out i was too good at it (pretending things don’t exist as a party trick: watch me watch you disappear), and now and now and now i can't remember if i'm tall or not, how my hair looks when i pull it up, how big my eyes are or what color.

it doesn’t matter how you say it anymore. a yes is a yes is a yes is a short step away from myself, a positive reaction and a lung working separately from the rest of the body. yes is what i’ve been waiting for, ears and teeth and knees. yes is exactly opposite to what i really need, but i take what i’m given in both hands and love it firmly, if not a little irresponsibly.

'yes, i remember...’ is subtle and terrible. magnificent and magnifying. yes, i remember every summer those mouthfuls of ocean water, salt in the cracks of my skin, motion in my bones. yes, i remember how good it feels, how honest to god good it feels to feel yourself taken into arms, into laughter. i remember how important it is to be able to answer, with eyes warmed smiling, with laughing in your teeth, the question 'do you remember?' with a round, smooth 'yes'.

'yes' like it could save your life, because, yes, it could.

--Jessica Randall

8/6/06 (3 months after diagnosis)